If you have a child between the ages of 2 and 5 and you say that you’re in charge of your life…I call bullshit. I like to think of myself as a strong woman, but when it comes to my baby, I’m weak. Sometimes my beloved fiancé gives me the side eye and then texts me “we don’t negotiate with terrorists babe.” You know what? He’s right! I don’t negotiate with my preschooler because I know I don’t stand a chance in hell of winning.
You can sit on your high horse, but the reality is that I have 4 children (I can’t say “kids” or my bio dad will be disappointed that I refer to my spawn as goats) and I just don’t have the energy to stand up to them all 24/7. By default, the one who is with me all day and is still inherently adorable is going to get his way more often than the others. First of all, I still have a chance at getting unconditional love from this one. Secondly, he has an iron will. This kid (sorry dad) can maintain a grudge longer than a Brooklyn bookie! Affirmation is my drug of choice, so I can’t handle his level of rejection for very long before I crack.
So here’s my confession: I absolutely will serve ice water with a glass straw to my son while making sure I don’t block the third viewing of The Lego Batman Movie and then put the cup on the nearest end table so it’s not too far for him to reach while he’s watching YouTube kids. Why? Because it feels good to be loved and frankly, it’s easier than dealing with his finely honed passive aggressive cuts.